Farewell, Berlin

Sitting in the hostel bar for the first time since I got here! It’s my last night in Berlin (sad face) and I wanted to enjoy a couple of drinks in the safety of my own building. I’m just reflecting on my past four days here and how incredible they have been. I truly was so nervous to embark on this journey since it was my first real solo trip… A foreign country, no friends nearby, never been here before… But I did it!

I did not have one problem, and I am so thankful for that. I am so proud of myself for sticking to it and making the most of my time here. I F**KING DID IT. I flew to a foreign country by myself, got around town, did the things I wanted to do, made some friends, stayed safe, stayed healthy, made memories. Now that I’ve done this, I’m already thinking of all of the other places on my list that I’m dying to visit. The possibilities are endless.

Overall, today was such an incredible day, I truly felt free and safe and open to whatever came my way. But then news of terror started blowing up my phone notifications and were on TVs all over the city… This morning there were suicide bombings at Brussels Airport killing at least 34 people. It is heart breaking and terrifying. Absolutely terrifying to think that people were just going about their day like any other when bombs started going off. They were traveling to see loved ones, making a business trip, running errands, seeing the world.  And now they are gone. This is happening all over the world everyday, but all of a sudden it felt so real. Being geographically closer to a terrorist attack for the first time was a huge wake up call. After news of the Brussels attack surfaced, I found myself anxiously walking through Berlin thinking to myself, “Oh my God, I’m flying back to Dublin tomorrow, what if there is an attack at the airport when I am there…? What if I actually die tomorrow? I could potentially die tomorrow, who knows?” Now, this is a recurring theme with me… I catastrophize every event in my life.. Jump to the worst possible conclusion and convince myself that I’m going to die somehow. I prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. But the fact of the matter is, and this is what really hit me today: I absolutely could die tomorrow. We’re all going to die. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, but we don’t know how or when.  But it will happen, so we absolutely must make the most of every single day we have on this earth. Now is the time to do what you’ve always wanted to do.  Now is the time, because tomorrow is not guaranteed. So right now, I am happy. I am choosing to see the light in the darkness because I am seeing the world and doing the things that I’ve always wanted to do.  My heart is heavy and full of sadness thinking about the innocent people who died in the terrorist attacks today and for people around the world who have to live in terror on a daily basis.  Let this be a reminder that our time on Earth is limited so we must make each day count.